How to make a good first impression on your future in-laws

First things first: well done. You’ve got yourself into a situation where your other half is proud enough of your partnership that they now want their parents to meet you. But enough back-patting and handshakes, this is serious. Remember all the nervous encounters you had with your partner, the trepidation of a first date and the embarrassingly sweaty palms when you held hands for the first time? This could top them all.

But lighten up – the future of your relationship shouldn’t hinge on those first few hours in the company of your potential in-laws. But trust us, make a good impression here and it’ll be plain sailing for at least the foreseeable future.

So, what’s to be done?

And we’re not talking about decorating the spare room with Post-it notes and lines of yarn, charting their lives back to when they were in pigtails and short trousers. We’re talking about the cursory facts. Sports teams. Favourite meals. What they’re watching on television at the moment – try the article here to help you brush up.

You want to scratch the surface without sinking your claws into them. Think casual talker – not menacing stalker.

You want to look presentable, but not catwalk-ready. Chinos not jeans, a shirt not a T-shirt, and shoes not trainers. Simple. Here are some wardrobe staples to consider.

And, unless you’ve either come straight from work or one of the parents owns a suiting accessories store, for God’s sake don’t wear a tie. You’ll likely come off like Ross Geller on prom night.

And then, if you’ve managed to both research the parents without attracting the attention of the authorities, and dress yourself appropriately, bravo! Now all you have to do is actually meet the parents themselves.

... or a bunch of flowers, and shake their hands firmly and with purpose when they open the door for you. Remember to talk straight at them, exude confidence and don’t just stand awkwardly behind your partner like their suitcase or a house plant.

With a bit a luck, you should be fine after that – and even if you aren’t, you’re inside their house now, so you can’t leave. You’ve literally just met the people, so clambering out the bathroom window in a panic-induced bid for freedom would look just as bad right now as contracting cold feet on the morning of your nuptials.

Instead, just calm yourself (probably don’t think about nuptials, then) and enjoy the conversation. Try not to touch your partner, keep your phone in your pocket and don’t boast about yourself.

While you should always act with maturity – check the slang and blue humour at the door, gents – never try to come off either more mature or more intelligent than their parents. Never mind how old you are, those older than you will still take issue if you’re seen to be usurping them – and you’ve already taken their beloved kid, so give the poor people a break.

Avoid controversial topics at all cost – be they political beliefs, immigration issues or human-rights debates – because you’ll quickly be so overwhelmed by judgement and psychological degradation yourself that you’ll wish you had a copy of the Geneva Convention to hand.

Other than that, it should be a walk in the park. They want to like you, believe us, so unless you put a foot irreversibly wrong, they will. And, if for some unforeseeable reason they do take against you, don’t lose it. Just work out what they don’t like and try to remedy it.

Either that or pile straight back in with the antagonism – it depends how much you really like your partner…

Want more etiquette advice? These are the email mistakes no professional should ever make…

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